If you’re a woman, chances are that you have struggled with poor self-love or self-esteem at some point in your life.

Maybe you are dealing with low self-love or self-esteem currently, and it is holding you back from living your life to the fullest and keeping you from reaching your goals. Here is a brief quiz to help you identify potential thoughts that may be sabotaging you:

Have you recently caught yourself experiencing a negative thought like the ones described below?

  • I’m not beautiful enough
  • Other women are more interesting than me
  • If only I could change (fill in the blank) about myself, then I would be happy
  • I am past my prime
  • Nobody notices me
  • I need to get better at (fill in the blank)
  • I can’t do anything right
  • What’s the use in even trying anymore? 
  • I’m so stupid
  • I’ll try buying (fill in the blank), that should help me feel better

If you could relate to any of those self-defeating messages above, let me reassure you that you are not alone. In the psychotherapy world, this is what we call “negative self talk.” Based on hundreds of conversations that I have had with women and girls of all ages, I believe that a lack of self-love is an epidemic in our current society. We are constantly bombarded with messages that convince us that we are not good enough, that we need something else to be better, and that we have to constantly strive to improve ourselves. As a result, we rarely believe that we are perfect, whole, and complete – just the way we are.

It is time that we stop believing these lies, and start to love ourselves for the incredible, marvelous, and miraculous individuals that we are. It is time that we stop flooding ourselves with thoughts of our deficits, and start building ourselves up with reminders of our strengths.

Try these 5 tips to learn to love yourself for who you are:

  1. Look in the mirror each morning, looking deeply into those beautiful eyes of yours, and say “I love you, completely, just for being you.”
  2. Don’t be afraid to compliment yourself! Whether it is out loud or in your mind, praise yourself at least once per day. For example, “You did a great job with that, I’m really proud of you” or “You look beautiful today.”
  3. Keep a notebook or journal near your bedside and make a list each evening of 3 things you did well that day, no matter how insignificant they may seem!
  4. Post a list of 3 positive affirmations somewhere in your home where you will see them daily. Here are some examples to choose from. You can create your own too!
    • I approve of myself for who I am and love myself deeply.
    • I fully accept myself and know that I am worthy of love and success.
    • I trust myself and my inner wisdom to guide me.
    • I am unique and feel good about being me.
    • I am proud of all of my accomplishments.
  5. At the end of each week, identify at least 1 challenge that you were able to overcome that week. Journal about your accomplishment.

I’d love to hear your feedback on how these tips have worked for you. Contact me here and share your stories! Take care of yourself, because you are completely worth it!

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